You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
