i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
