google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
