WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
