Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Randomize
