i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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