woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
