There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
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