first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I am full of burrito and curiosity
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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