He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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