i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Randomize
