Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Randomize
