im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Randomize
