went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Randomize