I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
We talked him into tasing himself.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
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