Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
