I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
