so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
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