If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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