I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
