remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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