My friends, they love my intelligence
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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