wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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