Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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