so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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