You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
He uses pillows to masturbate.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
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