HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
