Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
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