grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
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