what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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