I hate your face
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
27 Parents Confess Shocking Secrets Their Kids Don’t Know
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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