i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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