I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
