I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
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Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
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I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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