is your mom at the bar?
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Randomize
