home. puking in laundry basket.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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