I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
