I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I cut my penus on the lid.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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