Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
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