I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Randomize
