I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
These tits shall not be calmed
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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