U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
