I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
