i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize