sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
