I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
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