I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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