I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
