I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
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