I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
