shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
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