So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
