It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
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