I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
