I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Randomize
