your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
