the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
